Log in

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy; [entries|friends|calendar]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(drop me a line)

The final verdict... [05 Apr 2008|04:30pm]
College list:
BU- Accepted
Eastman School of Music- Accepted
Juilliard- Rejected
Manhattan School of Music- Accepted
Oberlin- Accepted

Manhattan School of Music Class of 2012

(drop me a line)

[31 Oct 2007|10:41pm]
I'm brewing a pot of coffee.
It's 10:43 at night.
God help me.

(1 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[30 May 2007|10:34pm]

(2 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[15 Sep 2006|10:26pm]
Gosh!  it's only been a week since I've been back at interlochen. It feels like i've been here for months! 
so i guess it's time for an update eh?
interlochen is just as beautiful as ever, there are so many new kids, it's insane! and of course since i am me i get easily pissed off at thequantity of them and of course their ignorance which grated is not their fault, but hey i'm a snob what can i say?
but ha actually everything has been great really incredible classes which provoke so much thought i can't get over it, reading dostoevsky and carl becker. yay! i can literally feelmy mind expanding
the studio is so much fun, brian matt and zach are back from last year and wow i missed them so much, i don't know what i am going to do next year when brian and matt won't be there, studio definately won't be the same. 
fasulos is gone though and so is mike which is crappy instead they have this thing called melody coffee and ugh just no.
deroy is gorgeous.
kresge is gorgeous. 
and so are the racoons that fall into the trash can at night. 

pointless post yeah whatever
get over it

(2 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[07 Sep 2006|01:21am]
[ mood | apprehensive ]

last day at home before interlochen!! whoot! 
excited as well as apprehensive. t.hibby left and the dorming situation is just in disarray girls are with guys people are being moved again and again there isn
t enough space for the girls so hee-ji and were moved to Hell aka TJ  worst dorm on campus
furious! but whatever i'llget used to it but bitch alot about it until then

it was in these two days i've been to every school since grade school in order odd eh?
this morning i went to MSOA to help out with the low brass section and get a last minute touch up lesson and then after met up with people from dreyfos and went to the school and was mauled by everyone apparently word was that i was dead or something to that effect- too funny
and then tomorrow it'll be inty
excited as hell
today i realized that no matter what happens i have some of the most amazing friends both at interlochen and home
i know that they will always be there for me and visa-versa and it is such an amazing thing to be able to come back home to your four closest friends and be able to just sit down, go to dinner and just talk freely about everything sometimes it feels as if there are less barriers becuase we don't really know the same crowds anymore but somehow lookout for each other
it's wierd but i am so incredibly thankful for it

packing like mad tonight gosh i think everything will be jusabout to burst.
getting to interlochen around 7:30 i'll probably just end up dropping my stuff in my room and then sprinting off and unpack around 1ish 
in less than 24 hours i'll be at interlochen SQUEE! 

(drop me a line)

[05 Sep 2006|04:14pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Hee-ji and I are in MB!!!!!!11


(drop me a line)

a wandering sleep deprived mind [04 Sep 2006|04:16am]

haven't really updated in awhile
been laying low practicing and plowing through brothers karamazov a rather brilliant book when you figure out dostoevskys style

lesson today, i htink possibly the first real lesson of the summer, finally played through the malcolm arnold-the whole way through no stopping. i'mstarting to get excited for the audition there's only a few runs i need tosmooth out but it's getting to the point where i can get hit in the head bya brick and just rely on my arm to hit everything a rather comforting thought eh?

got to see natalie today, wow for nearly being three she's so tall! and starting to speakcoherently which is exciting. i remember when she was at the hospital after being born how tiny she was. it's amazing to think that she has already grown up so much. thrre years on october 29th

after that got to see jennie and we went to dinner and it was great to just talk and have cappucinos that tasted like pot eh?

but really it's the little things that i'm going to miss about iflorida. like driving at night on the deserted beeline with the music up high and knowing that there is still a fullstretch of road ahead. it's being able to stop by someone's house just to deliver strawberries for the hell of it 
probably just the freedom of not really having any obligations and just being able to not have to think about what needs to be done.
it's the freedom of just being able to drive. 

but also there's the freedom of being on your own which is so appealing
the feeling of having things to do of needing to get them done and being able to do it
although it dosent seem like it at tha time it's always nice to know that you must push yourself and stretch yourself to the brink of insanity

it's 4:30 in the morning and i can not sleep in excitement over interlochen (3 days)
what will it bring? what new dynamics are there? what predicaments will we find ourselves in? how we'll celebrate continualy but in a muted manner so not to disrupt from our studies because everyday being there is such a pleasure and such a gift. 
how can one not sleep when they know that sleep brings them one day closer to their departure?
but how can they sleep with that same information?
how will one beable to stand the trip up there? how do you sit still for every minute kowing and not knowing what lies ahead? anticipation will  be palpable even to that person having to sit next to you 
nervous energy will permeate the planes atmosphere propelling it even more quickly to it's destination until apprehension kicks in-the headwind. oh what you would give not to have to face what lies ahead. the biting cold of the weather and eventually your thoughts  the sleepless nights spent on studying and wondering. the treks across that arctic tundra called main camp 
but oh! every moment is wonderful and every frigid blast of wind that stings your raw face is a slap of the present waking you up to tell you that you are at the most incredible place in the world.

(1 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[01 Sep 2006|10:30pm]
6 more days!


(1 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[09 Aug 2006|11:20pm]


(1 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[09 Aug 2006|10:56pm]

I did not know that it was possible to see as many movies as I have in suh a short amount of time.
Went to see The Descent today with Daniel by accident, we were going to go see Lady in the Water buy that backfired and so we saw humans killing evil Morlaks. IT WAS EVEN UNDERGROUDND! Wells would be proud.
hilarious as always, that kid makes me laugh.

Lunch with grandmother so I rummaged around the apartment for a bit finding old nick nacks that I used to play with when I was always there.  I found an aluminum band-aid container. ALUMINUM. amazing eh?
There's actually something on the container showing the NEW way to open the band-aid....the way that we use now. AND they have minnie mouse on the tin so HEY i must have been pretty young. 

yes......i think i'm high. hahaha 
speaking of which 

August 15th! 

(drop me a line)

brief ramblings from a girl trapped in her own equivocal mind [09 Aug 2006|12:17am]
why is it easier to trust a complete stranger than someone closest to you?

is it because we are afraid that the end of the cathartic situation will be the loss of a close friend?
is it because the total stranger will hear you and then be out of your life forever...the ideal situation of course


is it because we are afraid of the truth? that we are afraid of hearing whatwe know yet insist on denying the inevitable.
we are afraid of being judged by someone that we care about and we are afraid of the consequences due to our vulnerability.
most people get lies but some people get the truth-of course it is in the most casual manner and only in passing. of course you will never see them again. they know nobody that you do.

but what if this stranger became a huge part of your life a bit down the road?

you ingore them and when you must speak or awknowledge each others presence your eyes plead for them not to say anything not to imply anything, in their actions or words. because although only you would understand the implication because you undertood it you were sure that everyone else did.
paranoia and breakdown.


what if they didn't
what if instead, through circumstances far out of your control you were forced into their presence continually until-somehow- they became your sole confidant and closest cohort?
what then?

(2 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[07 Aug 2006|11:42pm]
i really miss interlochen

really really miss interlochen      


(drop me a line)

[02 Aug 2006|10:20pm]
so i was looking through pictures of interlochen

i really miss it

the end. 
35 more days

(2 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[30 Jul 2006|06:45pm]

I'm back in Florida after six weeks of intense music-ness at Tanglewood. 
It was amazing. 
Pictures maybe. 
I already miss it. 

gosh I love how articulate I am.

(drop me a line)

[23 Jul 2006|12:54pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

So I am indeed alive. 
Five weeks at Tanglewood have passed, amazing eh?
Only one more left, bittersweet, but I'll be happy to get back home. 

I can't realy describe everything that has happened. Maybe I'll work up enough energy to put a massive picture post when I get home but somehow I doubt it. 

Mellow as anything. 
Mozart's Requiem today, it'll be epic, alexis is also coming. That'll be fun. A report of home. 

It's intense here, anywhere from six to nine hours of playing a day, it kills you mentally but it is worth it, I've grown so incredibly much. 

More later.
Everything later.

I want to fold in.

(7 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[17 Jun 2006|01:29am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

so today i partially fixed francis (my ipod) and it stills insists on being a pain in the ass urghhhhh i need a larger one anyways... but last night was very nice... it was the four of us together again. jennie alexis carolyn and i. good times. 

i'm going to tanglewood tomorrow for six weeks meaning i'll be back on august first so feel free to call my cell 

absolutely exhausted in so many ways and i still havemountains to pack. 

technology will be the death of me.

(drop me a line)

[11 Jun 2006|12:59am]
[ mood | tired ]

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?by Edward Albee    read it...see the play...see the movie version with richardburton and liz taylor,I don't care but you must see it.it's is absolutely incredible 3 1/2 hours of pure snapshot dialogue. it is utterly brilliant. mum dad and i went to see the play today and i can't remember being so riveted to something for such a time period in a while. it was intense and extremely well done, four people constantly riding some of the most ntense emotions possible. it was fantastic. the tension and energy was palpable in the theater.

tennis this morning was hilarious fun, i miss the band and jazz band aspect of dreyfoos. 
 i realized that i only really keep in touch with four people at home and i am perfectly happy, i just dropped off of everyones radar and i like it. the four people whom i keep in touch with are people who i would give my marrow to. and why put up half ass efforts to be happy? whyspend time with people you don't want to? it's kind of funny but i enjoy for once having my head clear. :-D

i think i want to become a researcher for movies. for example:Munich(the movie) someone has to reserch and gather all of the facts. i would thrive.

i got ice cream today :-D 7 more

(1 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[09 Jun 2006|10:49pm]
There has got to be an easier way to do this. I am so hungry, everything I do reminds me that my body is craving the food that it can't have. Today I read the word melt and immediately I thought of a turkey melt and GOSH! I am so hungry. 
I've been working out and running everyday for two hours and it's gone down to calorie counting.
I've finally gotten down to 500, and if you count the calories I've worked off, I'm running on 50 calories a day, give or take a few. 
It's not that I'm not eating, it's just that what I am eating now is free of fat and minimal calories...
The scale has started to dominate my day, gain a pound that's 100 calories less for the day, not to mention bitching, and if i lose a pound? YAY! only so and so more to go. My goal: to get to 118, back to what I was before Interlochen. But short term? To get down to 122 before Tanglewood; in eight days...
I've started to know what a smoker feels like, I grab for my pack of gum convulsively at first  twinch of hunger. (new word bitches) 
I promised myself ice cream when I reach 125...in two pounds. I am excited :-D

but tomorrow playing tennis with daniel which will be fun, especially since we both haven't played since our last match... last summer.

(2 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

[06 Jun 2006|12:03am]

anyone up for some bowling?

(1 sent me a postcard | drop me a line)

sometimes someone says something and it makes your day [05 Jun 2006|01:36am]
MrGoGoAway [12:56 AM]: i think if i have a daughter, shell have a little alexis in her name somewhere, because mebbe its the name, but both of u are so strong
MrGoGoAway [12:56 AM]: i will
MrGoGoAway [12:56 AM]: :)
MrGoGoAway [12:57 AM]: i think ill name my daughter lily alexis lee... 

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]